The Lord always has amazing things to say, if we are just willing to listen.  The other day, I was (once again) asking God why I have such a difficult time making lasting friendships with peers.  It certainly isn’t for lack of effort or desire!  You know what God told me?  No, you don’t know, and I doubt you’ll be able to guess.

He told me that I scare people.

Upon hearing that, I was thinking probably just about the same thing you are thinking as you read it: “Ummm…okay?”  Great.  I’m scary?  That is why I have a hard time making friends?!

But that wasn’t what my heavenly Father was meaning.  It took some thought, but finally it dawned on me.  And the revelation was so astounding, I laughed out loud.

My identity, first and foremost, is in Christ as a daughter of the King of kings.  In my relationships, I seek always to keep that identity uncorrupted; wherever I go, whatever I do, I am always the “real” me – the “me” that God created to be wonderful and amazing and beautiful.  When people meet me, they can tell that I am open and genuine, but they don’t necessarily see my whole heart right away.  Then, when people begin drawing close to me in relationship, they begin to glimpse the depths of my heart.  What they see is wild, fierce, passionate, and lovely.  This makes people feel uncomfortable or even intimidated.  Why?  Human nature squirms at intimacy in relationships because the level of vulnerability in transparency feels dangerous.  As humans, we fear that, if we were to be completely transparent, we might be rejected.  Thus, when we see others who are living transparently, it causes us discomfort because of our own innate fears of others’ opinions.

Genuineness inspires trust.  Passion excites.  But genuineness and passion combined terrify people, because, together, they present something so pure, so beautiful, that it is scary to this world.  They offer a bold, unpretentious picture of a life lived fully and completely for our King of glory. 

That is what God was telling me.  To live fearlessly is terrifying.  It is terrifying to the devil, it is terrifying to others, and sometimes it is even terrifying to ourselves.  He also told me that, to have amazing friends, I need to find people who are just as terrifyingly genuine and passionate as I am.  And you know what?  Those are the people I want to be around – people who are unafraid of their identity in Christ and living out their faith.  And if this is the world’s definition of “scary,” then by all means, let me be absolutely fearsome.  We need to learn to live as terrifyingly fearless sons and daughters of the King of kings so that we may fully take hold of our place of victory in Christ.

“There’s a new generation arising
A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe;
All they fear is the fear of the Lord;
All they hear is the Lion of Judah”
– “Lion of Judah,” Jason Upton