It would seem so straightforward to say that love and hate are opposites – either you really like something or you really don’t. But there is so much more complexity to it. Easy though it might seem to believe, hate isn’t love’s opposite; selfishness is. And that is oh-so-painful to think about. There are times when I have thought, “Well, that wasn’t really love I was acting in, but it’s not like I was being hateful or nasty. I am not really a mean person.” True, but I am a selfish person. Everybody is selfish; it’s the nature of the flesh. Without God’s overcoming, victorious power, we would have to be resigned to spending our whole lives wrestling with it. But you see, Jesus’ death on the cross won the victory over selfishness. In fact, His death for us was the epitomy of selflessness – the very essence of true love. Selfishness can take so many forms – jealousy, greed, manipulation…..most bad things can be traced back to selfishness, just as most good things can be traced back to love.

Thinking about love and selfishness, I am reminded of a story called “The Lady or the Tiger?” In short, there was a princess who loved a man whom her cruel father believed to be unsuitable for her. The king set out to remedy the situation. He put the man in an arena crowded with spectators and told his daughter to choose one of the arena doors as the man’s “fate.” Behind one door was a ferocious, hungry tiger. Behind the other door was a beautiful lady whom the man would have to marry. This lady loved the man, just as the princess did. Thus, with that choice before the princess, and the man’s life in the balance, the story ends. I read this in my literature book as part of my homework. One of the thought questions I was supposed to answer asked me what I thought the princess would have chosen.

For me, it all comes down to her character (which the story tells little about): was she selfish or was she selfless? Would she allow her selfish jealousy or her love to govern her decision? And that question brought up another equally important question: if she chose to act in selfishness, was her “love” really love? It would make all the difference, and these were questions I could not answer about her. But I can answer it for myself. Each one of us can; and when we find our answers, we each have a choice to make: selfish or selfless?

God’s love is purifying as fire is to gold, separating the dross from the precious.  There is nothing more amazing than His redeeming love.  The entire Bible is a testament to His love.  Without that love, how could there have been forgiveness and redemption?

“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption…” (Colossians 1: 13-14)

Why does He love us with such an overwhelming love?  “But when the kindness and love of God our savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.  He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit…” (Titus 3:4-5)  Why did He send His only Son to die for us? Why would He keep pulling us out of the mire that we ourselves have created by poor choices and sin?  Why else but amazing love!

A young woman sits alone and abandoned, starving in a dark, dank alleyway.  She is weary, sick, and dirty.  She has sold herself to stay alive, all the while dying from the inside out.  She has no hope; she does not even understand what real love is, for she has never been shown any.  Little does she know that all this time a Prince has been fighting for her – One whom she did not even know.  Suddenly, He is there, standing before her.  He has won the battle with His blood; all she must do is go away with Him.  His radiant splendor makes her feel all the more filthy, but her heart longs to receive what He wants to give her. He offers His hand and with it His heart, His protection, and His cleansing touch.  It will cost her nothing and everything.  “Come now, let us reason together,” He says.  “Though your sins be like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they be as red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”  She shrinks back into the shadows, for she knows that to be purified, she must first step into the light and be stripped bare – each flaw and blemish apparent to all.  He is tenderly relentless in His pursuit of her though; she is His desire.  “Come away with me and be my love.  I have called you by name; you are mine.  Forever I will keep you; I will never leave you or forsake you.”  Still she hesitates.  “Who is here to cast stones at you?  Come unto me, for I have redeemed your life,” He calls gently, still offering His hand.  “Though the mountains be shaken, yet my faithful love will stand, reaching to the highest of heights.  It will be my everlasting covenant with you.”  How could you redeem this?  What could possibly be paid to save me?  What could I possibly be worth?” cries the young woman, desperation tingeing her voice.  She is tired of being miserable, alone and forgotten.  Could this be true?  How she wants to believe Him!  “My life, beloved, is what has been paid.  You have always been worth it to me. Come; let me make you mine.”

Hear Him calling you; He will not give up until He has claimed His bride . “Come to me; come, let me make you my own; come and step into a never-ending dream.”  He promises that you will be always loved and never alone, always forgiven and never forgotten.  He promises to shower you with His goodness and to cover you with robes of righteousness.  He sees the hidden depths of your heart, and the knowledge of it is safe in His loving hands.  He will melt you with His love and captivate all of you.  He will make you His immaculate treasure, free of blemish and clothed with light and splendor.  Will you take His hand?

Dig deeper by checking out these verses:  Isaiah 1:18,  43:1,  44:22,  54:10,  5,  5:3;  Jeremiah 31:3;  Lamentations 3:22-24;  Psalms 36:5 & 7,  42:7-8,  57:10;  Hosea 2:19 ; John 8:1-11;  Romans 5:6-8.

On Leopard’s Rock over Oribi Gorge – KwaZulu Natal, South Africa

“Father, make me just like you. Daddy, make me just like you.”

That is a piece of a Jason Upton song. I have liked to listen to his songs since I was quite small. Perhaps it was his voice, but I loved it just the same. This particular line stuck out to me. “Just like you, Daddy,” my heart cries when I hear it. “I want to be the image of your love and grace.” It is so poignant. We always hear about “being more Christ-like,” but this seems different somehow. It is the cry of every heart. At the beginning of the Bible, way back in the book of Genesis, it says that we are created in His image, His likeness. Every single person was formed to shine that likeness. To become more like my Father, to be filled and overflowing with His love and grace, to reflect His majesty – this is the deep desire of my heart. “Father, make me just like you in every way.”

I keep a journal… I don’t keep some locked diary, and if you were to look inside my little book, it might be different than you’d expect. Indeed, you would find the quiet longings and prayers of my heart penned carefully across the pages, but they tell a different kind of story – a story of finding myself, of finding God, and of drawing close to Him through written words. It is a story of falling in love with a Prince. The passion flowing through the words increases daily. The words I couldn’t speak, I could write. For me journaling is a release; I can sort my thoughts that way. I feel that I can draw close to God. I am learning who I am and who God is to me. I can look back and see how He has changed my heart, and I can also remind myself of His promises, of prayers He has answered. Whether it is through writing, music, reading, dancing, drawing, or some other thing, every person has a special thing in which they feel especially close to the Father.

God speaks in so many different ways, which, with Him being the most wonderfully creative mind ever, should not be surprising. You have only to look at creation to see His variety! Find your way; there is no right or wrong answer. Find your way to draw close to Him and begin your love story.

We all have many choices that we make each day, and that is a fact. It all starts when we get out of bed in the morning (or make the choice not to get up until later)….What to eat for breakfast? What to wear? What to do about the annoying dog next door? Well, there is another choice to be made before your feet hit the floor for the first time that day, and that is “what is my attitude toward today?” Oh yes, don’t be so shocked. You can indeed choose the tone of your day. Now, I did not say, “You can choose every single thing that will happen this day and have control over all of it,” but I AM saying that you CAN choose how you will respond to those inevitable little surprises or disappointments. Sometimes we can’t control things. Bad things, heart-breaking things, and frustrating things happen that we don’t choose. Yet even then we have a choice in how we respond. In those times when we can “call the shots,” so to speak, it is easier to pretend it is just the way things are and you have no responsibility – like on the days you wake up and have an immediate “grump” in your heart and rude words on your tongue to spew at the first person who glances your way.

I had one of those days not very long ago. For no good or apparent reason I woke up in a foul mood. That isn’t the worst of it though. The worst part was that I didn’t want to have a good or even a better attitude. And boy did it take a lot of time with God to straighten that out! He gave me a choice though. I could have huffed all day long, felt none the better for it, and gone to bed upset. My other option was to ask for His help to overcome. He was ready and waiting to assist, but He wanted me to make the right choice first. He has given us a lot of freedom to make decisions. All too often we abuse this freedom by using it as a license to sin. The choices we make can affect not only us personally but others around us as well. What would happen if we all chose to step out in courage? To always speak the truth and keep our word, even when it hurts? To walk in peace every day, even when life isn’t going like we think it should? God gives us the opportunity to choose what is right, to choose obedience and trust. Because of His love for us, He won’t ever force us into to doing something that we don’t want to do. However, along with the ability to chose, He has also given us the ability to break His heart with our choices. The power of choice is one of the most amazingly powerful things God has given us. So, what will you choose today?

Peace is not found in the circumstance. When you think of peace – and I am talking personal peace of heart and mind, not “world peace” here – do you immediately push it to the wayside as something unattainable? After all, who could have real peace? I mean there’s always something else to worry about, right? Always something that you’d really just love to change – things are hard, you’re not happy in your spirit, and changing your situation would fix all of that, right? I have learned otherwise. Sure, some situations are more stressful and trying than others – we would all like a calm, happy environment to reside in. However, changing your circumstances will not bring you the peace that you might think it would, only a cheap copy of true, deep-down, everlasting peace. I know; I have learned.

Imagine with me a moment. You are sailing the ocean in your ship, a mere speck in a vast area of shimmering water. The waters are growing rough and choppy; ominous dark clouds and deep rumbles of thunder come, bringing a lashing rain and lightning. Your little ship is being tossed like a toy and the waves are licking higher and higher up the sides of the craft, threatening to take you with them into a dark watery abyss. You are uncertain of what to do. Where is a safe haven? You have heard tidbits of information about a glorious Harbor, but you aren’t sure of its location. With no purpose except escaping immediate danger, you sail vainly about finding no safe spot to anchor your ship. You sail on and on – surely if you were able to get far enough from the squall you’d be safe. Finally the rain ceases and the waves settle somewhat. You are safe and all is well!….Or is it? No, it is simply a lull in the storm. The calm before the nightmare begins again. You are tired and so very weary of fighting by yourself. You collapse on the deck; you just can’t go on. What is the point? The storm rages and drags you around in it. You let it go – the belief that you could make a safe place for yourself, and even the thought that running away could make everything better. You are done worrying, done frantically searching for something you aren’t even sure exists. “Come unto Me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest.” Rest – wouldn’t that be nice? “Peace I give to you; My peace I leave with you.” Peace? Was it possible? “Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you.” Could it truly be that simple? Was the thing you have been searching for right here all along? You lifted yourself up off the deck. And then you saw it. Never have you seen anything more welcoming or beautiful. Golden sunlight streams through the clouds, through the tattered ship’s sails, and envelops you like a warm, snuggly blanket. Now you have found that which before was only a whisper of a thought. It satisfies the restless place in your heart that you thought there was no cure for. It is His peace.

Joyce Meyer defines peace as “the continual tranquility of heart and life,” and that is how God describes His peace.  It isn’t about the circumstances. You can run, but the haunting thought that you aren’t truly at content and peaceful will always follow. There is only one place that you will find true peace, and that is the safe and sheltering arms of the Father. Once you have tasted the real deal, you’ll never be able to go back – I certainly wasn’t.

“I want to set the world on fire, until it’s burning bright for You.”

Set the World on Fire by Brit Nicole is a beautiful song and one that started a fire in me.  I first heard the song several years ago and it made me want to become a world-changer.  I listened to it with my dearest friend, Madyline DiCocco.  We listened to it again…and then again.  I have no idea how many times we rewound it, but it stuck with me.  I know every word…

It’s everything that I desire;
Can I be the one You use?

It burns in my heart still today.

I am small, but You are big enough.
I am weak, but You are strong enough to take my dreams,
Come and give them wings!
Oh Lord with You, there’s nothing I cannot do!

It is when I realize just how small and weak I am that God is best able to use me (check out 2 Corinthians 12:9).  My desire is to make a difference everywhere that I go.  I want a place to change just because I was there and I shine for my Father.  The song continues…

I want to feed the hungry children,
And reach across the farthest land.
To tell the broken there is healing,
And mercy in the Father’s hands.

He makes the impossible become possible.  He is the Giver and Fulfiller of dreams.  With Him, I can set the world on fire.

My hands, my feet, my everything!
My life, my love; Lord, use me!

I want every part of me to be used for His glory.  Being small or weak isn’t an excuse.  Give yourself fully to Him and wait to see what He’ll do.

“Just breathe and be still.  I’ll take care of you.”

That is what God spoke to my heart this week.  “Be still, daughter,” He said.  Never has life felt as unsure as it does right now.  We have no place that we can call “home” – though hopefully that will be changing shortly – and no car.  And it feels helpless.  Worry and doubt started knocking on my door.  How could things possibly go on like this?  Why does everything have to seem so difficult?  What could we – I – do differently?  And then came the answer: “Trust Me; I’ll take care of you.”  It seems so simple, but is not always easy to put it into practice.  “But God, people haven’t come through!  They haven’t kept their word!  Nobody seems trustworthy!  How can I be absolutely SURE that You are?”  Now God had a question for me: “Have I ever not kept My promises?”  I thought about it.  I thought about it some more.  After all that pondering, I came to the conclusion that the answer was no.  We have never actually gone hungry, though it has seemed like we would be without food many times.  Even though we are ready to have a place of our own, people have opened their homes up to my family and we have always had a roof over our heads.  Just when things began to feel overwhelming, just when it felt like the water was coming over my head, He came through.  God has always come through for me and always will.  Do you know how I know that?  It is because I know my Father, and I know His promises to me are all true.  He feeds the birds and clothes the lilies, and I matter so much more to Him than those things.  He knows what I need and He’ll care for me.  (check out Luke 12:22-32) The lesson I am learning is peace – of mind, of body, of heart, and of spirit.  In learning to walk in God’s forever peace, I am also learning to trust.  He’s got me covered, and because of that, I have nothing to worry about.

It’s Bug Season in South Africa!

Some call it summer, I just call it “bug season.” The intense heat has come again and with it all kinds of interesting bugs and little frogs (I call them “hoppy frogs,” and they are about the size of your pinky nail or smaller) and geckos. After having already lived here through one “bug season,” I have realized that, yes, there ARE things more icky than having a tiny gecko on your bedroom wall. In fact, if you have one in your room, you are less likely to be eaten alive by mosquitoes! (Mozies, people here call them.) Love the lizards! They are your friends! Upon first finding a gecko near my bed, I almost couldn’t sleep for being concerned that he would climb on me in the night and something terrible would happen, like the part from the movie The Parent Trap where a lizard went in the mean lady’s mouth! Nothing of the sort occurred however, I am pleased to tell you. Now I see my tiny friends as some very special little creations.

Over the past fifteen months there have been so many changes for my family. I feel that the biggest change for me that has come from our move to South Africa is on a more personal level – my heart. No amount of pictures, stories, or trips could have prepared me for one of the biggest changes of my life. I was heartbroken to have left our Yorkie, Mae Mae, in Michigan. I was tired of suitcases and sharing a bedroom, even with my best friend. I didn’t want to sleep in a bunk bed, I wanted MY bed. I didn’t want our friends’ dog, I wanted MY dog. I was so busy being sad that I could hardly see all of the happy things right in front of my face. I just felt like I couldn’t stop crying. Why did we ever leave Michigan? This strange place didn’t feel like home. Then I had to write poem for my literature assignment about a special place. I actually tried to write about my old home, but I couldn’t. I didn’t live there any longer. My new home was here. And so I began to write…..

South Africa
Mountains reaching the highest heights,
And vast cities of twinkling lights.
Grassy plains full of springbok and wildebeest,
The sparkling Indian Ocean to the east.
Rolling hills with grazing cows and woolly sheep,
The sound of crickets chirping as you drift off to sleep.
In all this beauty I see my Father’s hand;
This place is my heart’s motherland.

————-

And with that poem I came to realization that this place is my new home. That was when my heart truly began to change. Unfortunately, I didn’t exactly have an attitude adjustment right away – that was a little longer in coming – but now I see things in a whole new way. My heart has come to a different place and I have grown so much in my relationship with God. I am learning how to have a forever peace, an unquenchable joy, and an unselfish love. I will always treasure the time of growing up in Michigan and laughing with friends and family. I will always be thankful for the amount of time that I was able to take horse riding lessons. I will always love Mae Mae. And I still miss my old bed. But now I am making room in my heart for new things. I have found lots of things to love. I am making new friends, and I have a new puppy, my sweet little Poppy. I am even taking ballroom dancing lessons! To begin to enjoy all of the good things God wanted to give me, I had to first let go of something old so that I could have something better. Looking back, I can see that now. For me the move to Africa has not been so much of a change of location as it really has been a transformation of my heart.